A husband admits defeat

There has been a new development in the story of the pianist Joyce Hatto and the recordings passed off as her work. The husband now admits (after a mountain of evidence has been presented against his case) that the recordings passed off as Hattos were indeed those of other “pianists whose sound and style were similar to that of his wife”.

At first (or so he claims) it was only to fill inn the parts where his sick and dying wife were stumbling. And as her sickness progressed, and his skills in integrating the music, the pieces of others recordings grew longer and the original Hatto recording subsequently shorter.

His story is very nice and heart-warming. But is it too little too late? Further investigation into the matter will no doubt shed some light on the case. For now it remains a string of good intentions gone bad; or a cover-up trying to appeal to the good nature of the public. The jury is still out on this one…
 

What the ..?

I guess you can argue that having a baby while financially dependant of your parents is a good idea. I guess you can argue that the added stability and security can add up to a safe environment when growing up. I guess you can also argue that having a baby at an early age will add several years’ worth of maturity the moment a small head peaks out and draws breath. But I am sure that none of these thoughts crosses a fourteen year old girl's mind before she decides to get pregnant. OUT OF BOREDOM!

"There's nothing for children to do in Paignton. I honestly think they get bored and think it's a fashionable thing to get pregnant."

Or even worse; as a fashion accessory

"When my friends see my bump they say they wish they could have a baby, then three weeks later they're pregnant and don't know what to do.
[…]
It seems to be fashionable to get pregnant."

I cannot even begin to contemplate what goes through a young girls head at the point where thinking ‘babies are cute’ equals ‘I want to have a baby’. But perhaps it’s a natural progression from seeing that hot celebrity with the ridiculous mini-dog tucked away in a thousand dollar bag with a ten thousand dollar collar. They do tend to produce babies just like the rest of the adult population after all. ‘I want a dog like that’ is similar to ‘I want a baby like that’ I guess…
 

...

There is a reason why some clips on YouTube have over three million views

(remember to turn up the volume)

A different kind of hoax

If your wife is dying from cancer and happens to be a former concert pianist what do you do? Why, of course, you release some of her recordings and win her as much acclaim as you can for her work. And that’s exactly what her husband did. On a private label the husband of Joyce Hatto publishes his wife playing pieces of well known classical music. And as a critic in the Boston Globe put it in 2005 ‘[she is] the greatest living pianist that almost no one has ever heard of.’

At least that’s how it should have gone. But with a little help from iTunes, things took a slightly different direction. As gramophone.co.uk first reported, a listener of Hattos sat down in front of his computer and was in for a bit of a surprise: the music was recognised as a recording of Liszt – as it indeed said on the cover of the disc. But the name that appeared on the screen was not of the female virtuoso as expected, but a pianist by the name László Simon.

How is it, people had previously asked, that a previously unknown artist that stopped performing publicly more than three decades ago, and while battling with cancer, can suddenly start to produce such great music? The sad, but honest truth is that she couldn’t (or at any rate didn’t). It was all one big scam from beginning to end.

Take one piece of good classical music alter the pace, re-master it and give it out under the name of Joyce Hatto. Rinse and repeat. All of a sudden you have an amazing collection of work praised for its brilliance – the only problem is the name on the cover. A name that did not in fact play the music…

As for the reasons for publishing the music under his wife’s name not a lot is known. William Barrington-Coupe still claims all recordings are genuine and played by his late wife, but the evidence supporting his claim has yet to be presented. Meanwhile the list of musicians recognised on the Hatto CDs is still growing.

Side by side comparison of some of the pieces can be heard at Pristine Audio.
 

Time well spent

Having spent the better part of the afternoon and evening trying to get my head around OpenID - its uses and how to acctually get an OpenID for my blog I finally got it all to work. Largely thanks to a very informative screencast by Simon Willison that can be found here.

[I was going to write more, but I got sidetracked, so I'll just leave it at that...]

I want a Dell cell phone

And no I don’t mean it that way… I’m not dying to see a cell phone with the Dell logo printed on it in big letters. The brand is not of any particular importance. What I want is for a mobile phone company to pick up the Dell business model. Just picture this: 

- Hello, and welcome to Dreamphone Inc. How may I help you?
- Yeah, hello. I’d like to order a cell phone…
- Certainly, sir. What type of cell phone would you like?
- Well… It’d have to be a small one, but with a nice bright screen
- Ah, yes. Then we have two models you might like: one is a slider and one is a flip phone. The flip is slightly bigger but you get the additional screen to see who’s calling, and we can fit a better camera module into that one. The slider phone has the advantage of a slightly better battery – but both will have around average standby and talk time.
- Well, I’m not concerned about the camera, but is it possible to get a 3G module in both phones?
- Certainly sir, but that means you have to sacrifice some of the internal memory – or move up to a slightly bigger shell. Not a problem? All right then. 
[…]
- Is there anything else I can add to the order?
- I don’t think so…
- We have your phone then. A mail with the complete specification list as well as an illustration photo of the phone will be sent to you shortly. Don’t hesitate to call again if you have any questions or changes. Your phone should be shipped within three weeks. Have a nice day, and thank you for using Dreamphone Inc.

I’m not all that optimistic, but a little daydreaming hasn’t hurt anyone...
 

To Kill a Paperclip

The last scene is a still photo of Clippy standing proudly on his prized piece of notebook paper. The dates "1997-2007" appear, and then simply, the words "Goodbye Clippy." The place is packed. There's not a dry eye in the house. Tux the Linux penguin and Sonic the Hedgehog are seated in the front row, holding hands, bawling their eyes out.

Easy money?

If you walk past a slot machine do you put on some money just to see if you, just this time, can win the big jackpot? The flashing lights tell you, you are only one coin away from the big payout. Or are you one of those people who play the lottery every week for that insignificant chance of winning the first price? A comforting thought might be that you are not alone.

In 2005 each Norwegian bet on average 1400 € in the hopes of getting to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. One thousand four hundred euros. Each. Not included in this number is the around 500m € spent on unregulated internet gambling that year. And since I know for a fact that I spent significantly less than that in 2005, someone must have a serious problem.

A survey from 2002 found that around 49 000 people between the age of 15 and 79 had a serious gambling problem. And since then the amount of money involved have increased by 25 %. A new survey, that is well underway, is bound to find that the number of people with a problem has increased.

One of the most popular lotteries (if not the most addictive as it is a weekly game) is the Norwegian Lotto. It’s your basic ‘pick 7 numbers out of a pot of 34’ lottery, and if you get them all correct you win the first price. The principle of it all is very easy to follow. The hard part is actually winning anything. And as anyone who have ever put some money into a lottery like this knows; winning isn’t enough – it’s the first price that really counts.

One in five million.

That’s the chance of winning the first price on any given set of numbers. One in five million. So why do people insist on throwing money into the lottery? It’s because every week another lucky sod gets half a million after putting in five euros in the pot! Every week that one in five million chance happens to someone. Sooner or later it’s bound to happen to me, right? Right? 

How about a carrot?

“Support the WHO FCTC – it saves lives!” Not heard of the WHO FCTC? Well there is not much you need to know, really. They save lives, so they must be the good guys. The good guys saves lives, so saving lives must naturally make you a good guy. It’s logical.

This is how the WHO FCTC saves lives. Scare you, did it? Well, it’s designed to do just that. Those are from Canada by the way. Reportedly they work better than the small warning printed on the side of the package in the US. So good of them to use three years, and who knows how many millions to come up with that answer. I bet they didn’t look into the increasing numbers of cigarette cases sold, though.

I know that smoking kills. You know that smoking kills. So does anyone with half a brain. And smokers? They get it force fed every time they try to light up. They should have gotten the message by now. Perhaps instead of covering half a package we should cover the whole thing? With an even more illustrating picture. And the warnings on the packages? Not powerful enough. “Smoking kills” could be made into “Every time you smoke you help Osama kill an infidel”. (Naturally the warning would have to be locally adapted).

I am sure that psychologists and psychiatrists would tank us for the added work bound to come from treating depressed and disillusioned smokers…

Mac has issued a salutation. Cancel or allow?

Apple has done it again - another Mac vs. PC commercial is out. Now normally I watch it once, smile a bit then continue with whatever I’m doing (the commercials do not air in Norway). But this one actually has got a valid point…


Windows needs your permission to continue
User Account Control stops unauthorised changes to your computer. If you started this action please continue.

-Continue- -Cancel-

-Continue-


As I was saying – this new one actually has a point to make. If I want to make changes, minor or major, to my computer I do not want to get asked every step of the way if I really did click the button on the screen: Are you sure you want to do that? Are you? Really? Cause it might be a bad idea, you see? Really? A backup could be considered a threat, you know? Do you really want to shut me off? Do you? Really? Cause if you do we take no responsibility whatsoever? You think that’s unfair? Really?


Windows needs your permission to continue
User Account Control stops unauthorised changes to your computer. If you started this action please continue.

-Continue- -Cancel-

-Continue-


I have a feeling that this function could be more hated than even the dreaded paperclip in Word. I’m sure you remember the one. It’s very hard to forget once you’ve encountered it. It seemed fun and functional the first time. You could even animate it at will! Then it turned up when you least wanted it. Made a mess of the screen, and whatever you were thinking at the time got lost into the great abyss – just so you could get “Did you know that …” Yes I did know. No, I did NOT need to be reminded. Thank you, and good night!


Windows needs your permission to continue
User Account Control stops unauthorised changes to your computer. If you started this action please continue.

-Continue- -Cancel-

-Continue-


One of the points made when launching Vista was that it was more secure than the old XP. It had built in safety and every step of the way. I’m sure there is more to it than this bit here. But it’s this bit here that is visible, and it doesn’t look all that good. Imagine a 100 meter race where every few meters there is a door that needs opening. The track can be the fastest in the world, but the focus is still on the doors, not what’s leading up to them…


Windows needs your permission to continue
User Account Control stops unauthorised changes to your computer. If you started this action please continue.

-Continue- -Cancel-

-Continue-


Now of course you could turn it off, but just once in a while it could be nice to get a “You are about to totally fuck over your computer. Cancel or allow?” But by then I'm sure that the continue-click has been made an automated process, and all the frustration would be even greater. I’m sure that if you kept it on long enough the paperclip had one valid suggestion. It must have had. “Did you know that I can be turned off?” 


Windows needs your permission to continue
User Account Control stops unauthorised changes to your computer. If you started this action please continue.

-Continue- -Cancel-

-Cancel-
 

Rowan Atkinson - Comedy Genious

Hello, nice to see you all again.

Now, as the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now, this is Hell, and I am the Devil. Good evening. You can call me Toby, if you like – we try and keep things informal here, as well as infernal. That’s just a little joke.

Now, you’re all here for eternity, which I hardly need tell you is a sod of a long time, so you get to know everyone pretty well by the end, but for now I’m going to have to split you up into groups. Are there any questions? Yes?

Um, no, I’m afraid we don’t have any toilets. If you’d read your Bible you might have seen that it was damnation without relief. So, if you didn’t go before you came then I’m afraid you’re not going to enjoy yourself very much … but then, I believe that’s the idea.

Right, let’s split you up then.
Can you all hear me still?
CAN YOU HEAR ME AT THE RACK?
All right, off we go …

Murderers, over here. Looters and pillagers – over there please, thieves if you could join them, and bank managers …
Fornicators, if you could step forward – my God there are a lot of you. Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Adulterers if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine there.

Okay …

Americans, are you here? Look, I’m sorry about this, apparently God had some fracas with your founding fathers and damned the entire race into perpetuity. He sends particular condolences to the Mormons who He realises put in a lot of work. That’s the way the wafer crumbles. The Iranians, I’m afraid, can’t be with us – someone’s been holding them in purgatory for about nine months. Sodomites, over there against the wall.

Atheists! Atheists? Over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of charlies. Okay, and Christians! Christians? Ah yes, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the Jews were right. Okay, Moonies, maniacs, marmite eaters, male models, masochists, mass murderers and masseurs, if you could take a pew at the back - with the Methodists that is.

Now, you’re the lot who used to kill whales, is that right? Ah, yes, I must remember - I’ve got some strips to tear off you bastards later.

Everyone who saw Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” – I’m afraid He can’t take a joke after all. Alright now, one final thing. We’re trying to implement some kind of exchange scheme with the Lord God Almighty, or Cliff as we know him. Some of you will travel up and have a decade in heaven and we’re having some angels down here. Now, I hardly need tell you that in heaven you will be expected to behave in an exemplary manner, so I hope you will do the exact opposite – tear off their wings, use their haloes for frisbee practice, that sort of thing.

Well, I have to go now, unfortunately, but Beelzebub here will show you the ropes ... and the chains, and electrodes.

And I’d just like to leave you with a favourite joke of mine, if I may. Quite apt to the circumstances, I feel, which goes something like:

“Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Death.
Death wh…”

--------------------

From what I can tell this is the original version from his live performance in Belfast. You can listen to it here.
There is also a later version readily available on YouTube.

A picture can tell a thousand words

or so I have heard. Imagine reading a newspaper without any images in it. Pages upon pages of more or less dry retelling of the happenings of the world. It sounds dull. It probably would be dull. Thousands of words, just to create the same effect as a small collection of coloured ink on a piece of paper. The trouble occurs when the picture chosen for a given article does not in fact tell a thousand words; when the picture chosen is more of a light introduction to the topic. Or even just some filler material because the journalist is out if time and out of words. They have a deadline to work against, and probably a dozen different pieces to write before the end of the week. A mediocre article accompanied with a mediocre image, read the next day and then thrown in a bin at the end of the lunch break.

When I open a newspaper I expect to get, well, the news. I expect to get the news delivered to me in a way that I can understand and possibly relate to. I expect to get opinions in the commentaries and leaders, and I expect the information delivered to be accurate. What I don’t expect pages upon pages of advertising, half finished articles and copy-pastes of the big international news agencies. I tend to get the latter.

Whenever I hear about falling numbers of readers in the daily press I get this little voice in the back of my head going “We will combat the falling numbers with more focus on entertainment news and sports, add extra revenue from advertising and possibly cut a few positions in the journalist department.” To be honest I don’t care what celebrity it was this time who went with a too short skirt and no underwear. Or that a football player sprained his pinkie but thankfully will make the big match next Saturday – although he missed a training session and was rushed to the emergency room for a thorough x-ray examination. Those two stories? Five pages if you include a comment from the doctor doing the examination. And a couple more if you get someone saying the celebrity in question is a bad role model for the kids growing up today. Then an additional page if you can quote a given b-celebrity saying: -No I would not go without underwear in that short a skirt, and I sincerely doubt it will become commonplace in the next year or so. Meanwhile the two elections in Europe and the sinking of a ferry in Indonesia get half a page maximum spread out over the five pages of international news. Do they really wonder why people stop reading their papers?

One small step for a man

one giant "who the hell cares?" from mankind.

This here'll be my little corner of the internet. My little collection of
thoughts on, and/or comments to the things that holds my intrest at
the time of writing an entry. I reserve the right to add watever I like
whenever I feel like it, be it the latest bit of interresting news or just 
some meaningless gibberish. If anyone has a problem with that
 - tough luck. Im sure there are other corners of the internet
you'll find more pleasing, so shoo!

If you're still here be sure to check back in from time to time for a
new entry. I wont promise to keep the entries coming at any regular 
intervals so irregularly will probably be more than good enough. Thats it for tonight, the next entry wont be far off
as this is all new and exciting at the moment. Watch this space